so tonight at 1 something AM I was in my room watching Weeds on Netflix when all of a sudden my brother storms in and tells me to help him kill a roach. I was still mad at him for not killing flies when I told him to the other day so i said to kill the bug himself. he then went on about how the bug was fricken huge and how he can’t kill it and blah blah blah. eventually I was like “ah what the heck I’ll just kill it” and so we went downstairs and got the raid and went to his room. well we were looking for the little sucker for about half an hour and I literally thought he was losing his mind and seeing things cuz I found no such bug in his room. right when I was about to give up, I see this FREAKING HUGE GINORMOUS FREAKISHLY BIG I DON’T EVEN KNOW bug. now, I exaggerate a lot of things, but believe me when I say that this bug was at least 2 and a half inches and it was FAT as well! so I start almost crying and I’m standing there staring at the sucker and I can’t even move and I’m pretty much just shaking. and I’m too scared to just spray the effing thing so I start searching the room for something else to kill it with. I found this pretty big shoe box and I think…ok I’ll just put the box over it. so I go and I’m shaking and I slam the box over it and now I’m like…now what? so we run around the room for like 10 more minutes thinking about how we’re gonna kill the bug that is now under the shoebox when all of a sudden I SEE THE DEMON AGAIN crawl out and crawl over the box. and by this point I am literally on the verge of tears and I’m thinking WHAT THE F DO I DO. but of course I can’t even function cuz I’m pretty much paralyzed in fear so I just share as the thing crawls over to the other side of the room. and my heart is racing away and my brother won’t do anything cuz he’s a little girl and I just wanna cry. eventually it stops moving in an awkward position that’s not on a flat surface. and I am wanting to throw up just looking at it. so I stare at it for like 15 more minutes thinking about how the heck im gonna kill this futhermucker. I didn’t wanna spray it cuz the thing was freaking huge and I was scared that the raid wouldn’t kill it and that it would get pissed off and eat me. anyways after a long time it finally starts crawling again really fast across the floor. well at least it’s a flat surface now so it’ll be easier to kill. so I grab a plastic cup I got from Baylor and I wait for the perfect time to put the cup over the stupid creature. well turns out that I kinda put it over half of it’s body so the other half is still visible. I wanna throw up. I get the raid and douse the sucker with it and it’s moving it’s freakishly long antennas and begging for its life and I feel so powerful. and then I use the cup to scoop it into the shoebox and put the lid on and duck taped it and made my brother throw the box away outside in the dumpster.
pretty intense huh. I feel like a murderer. well now it’s 3 in the morning and the adrenaline is pumping through my body and I still wanna cry but I killed the largest bug ever. I feel powerful and wanted to share that with whoever wants to read this but my heart is still racing away so this entry probably contains a lot of grammatical errors but I don’t really care cuz I’m posting this from my phone anyways. I was supposed to wake up at 6 and go running but I think after my triumph over the freakishly huge creature, I deserve to sleep in. and I’m still mad at my brother for being such a girl.
